10 Great Parenting Books

by Brianna

In pursuit of making great book club kits and generally improving ourselves, we read a LOT of books! We believe that you can get at least a little bit better at just about anything, as long as you keep learning about it and practicing proven techniques. We extend this philosophy to our journeys as parents, too. What if all parents took their parenting as seriously as their career or favorite hobby? To progress at work, people read books, take classes, and seek mentorships. We aren't too proud or self-assured to try these techniques to become better parents, as well.

While we're certainly not perfect, we're definitely seeing results from these efforts. One of our biggest lessons has been that we're constantly planting the seeds for future progress; real changes are rarely immediate, but they're lasting and buildable. That and, parenting is hard! Even when you're doing it right, your kid will still get mad at you. Saying "no" in the cereal aisle when your kid is two might result in a tantrum that makes you wish you'd just ordered everything online. But sticking to your "no" and enduring the tw0-year-old's rage will result in a much more subtle, but accepting, form of dissatisfaction to your "no" in the same scenario a year or two later.

All of this is to say, you've got this! And when you feel like you don't, we have books that can help. Read on for our list of our ten favorite parenting books (in no particular order). These are all of our go-to's when friends ask how we handle things. Use the links in the article to order your own copy from Amazon (we'll get a small referral payout if you do, at no additional cost to you). Bonus: we have a printable pamphlet of all ten titles that you can take with you to the bookstore or library!

Before we jump in, download the whole list here. The list below contains affiliate links in case you want to order one of our picks off Amazon, but we know you might want to try before you buy. We've put the list in a handy pamphlet you can take with you to the library or share with your friends!

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1. How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen

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Over 30 years ago, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish wrote How to Talk so Kids Will Listen, and Listen so Kids Will Talk. Its message of empathy, collaborative problem-solving, and positive discipline soon established it as a "parenting Bible." More recently, Faber's daughter Joanna teamed up with her friend Julie King to make a version of this classic work that's specific to little kids and their special way of processing the world. 

How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen keeps it real! Faber and King taught these techniques in parenting workshops, and we benefit from the experiences (and hilarious stories) of the families that participated. We've used many of the methods advised in this book, and we've seen great results. 

If you've read How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen and enjoyed it, there's good news! There's now a whole How to Talk series! The other big one is How to Talk so Teens Will Listen, and Listen so Teens Will Talk, but there are others for other common parenting issues, too.

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2. Mindset

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The best way to encourage our kids is to tell them they're smart and can do anything! Right? Wrong. Well, mostly wrong. In Mindset, Carol Dweck explains her findings after decades of research into how we can reach our full potential. It turns out, what we believe about learning can have a much bigger impact on our outcomes than our base intelligence scores.

If you want to read what science has to say about teaching kids to be successful, without turning them into neurotic perfectionists or obnoxious egoists, you have to check out Mindset. Take note: Dweck's main findings in Mindset are also referenced in other popular self-improvement and parenting works. It's that foundational.

Tip: Make sure you get the updated version (pictured), published in 2017. Dweck addresses the biggest criticisms that were leveled at the first edition.

3. Grit

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Angela Duckworth's Grit is another well-researched book about fulfilling our potential. Where Mindset is about being open to learning, Grit is about combining passion and perseverance in the pursuit of excellence in your calling. Don't know what your calling is? Duckworth has advice for honing in on that, too.

Feel like you're moving in the right direction yourself, but want to inspire your children or students to find their passions and become gritty, too? Duckworth commits an entire chapter to doing just that.

If you're interested in reading Grit with friends, or in order to train your team, check out our Grit book club kits!

4. The 5 Love Languages of Children (and Teens)

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By now you've probably heard of Gary Chapman's massively successful book, The 5 Love Languages. You probably know your love language and your partner's. But did you know there's a way to use this lens to view and shape your relationships with your children, too?

In The 5 Love Languages of Children, Chapman and Ross Campbell explore how to show love to young children in all five love languages, as well as how to teach them to show love in all five. This ensures that your child will feel loved by you even before you know what their love language is, and it gives them the skills to be an empathetic friend and partner later in life, too. Who wouldn't want that for their littles?

If you like the idea of learning to use the five love languages with your kids, but yours are a bit older, there's a book for you, too! Chapman also wrote The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers and A Teen's Guide to the 5 Love Languages. The first teaches parents how to love their children through the five love languages lens, and the second teaches teens how to use the same principles in a way that's appropriate for them. If you've never read The 5 Love Languages in any form and are super confused right now, check out our overview on the original, and see if this series is a good fit for you.

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5. The Importance of Being Little

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Some of the most anxiety-inducing decisions as a parent center around preparing and safe-guarding our children’s future. The Importance of Being Little helps us to understand, what young children need to develop, and how we – especially our schools – are failing them. Rather than a dire and often directionless mandate for less tests, more play, Christakis shows us how to shape our environment with little ones in mind to encourage early learning, whether inside or outside of the classroom. Christakis’ message is ultimately one of hope, our little ones are hard-wired to learn and they will flourish once we figure out how to get out of their way.
 

6. UnSelfie

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Sometimes it feels like you can only get ahead by being a jerk, and those of us committed to being kind have to get ok with less success. According to Michele Borba, though, there's actually an advantage to being more empathetic. In a world where everyone is concerned with themselves, people who care about others stand out.

The great news is that empathy is a skilled that can be taught or learned. If the state of our world troubles you, and you want to raise a strong, empathetic, and successful child, UnSelfie cannot be missed. 

7. There's No Such Thing as Bad Weather

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There's No Such Thing as Bad Weather isn't just a Scandinavian saying; it's the title of this great book!

Author Linda Äkeson McGurk was born and raised in Sweden. She met her American husband in college, and moved to the Midwest with him to raise their family. At first, it seemed like the U.S. and Sweden had as many similarities as differences, until their children were born. McGurk was shocked at the increasing lack of a relationship American children have with nature. Instead of being encouraged to play in patches of forest reserved for schools, she and her children were running afoul of "Leave No Trace" and other well-intentioned policies.

In There's No Such Thing as Bad Weather, McGurk details the differences in policies and attitudes between Scandinavian countries and the U.S. (and Canada, and the U.K.) when it comes to children playing and learning outdoors- and why it matters. We found it to be a real wake up call!

8. The Whole-Brain Child

I'll take one

As a parent, learning a bit about your child’s neurological development will pay dividends in both the short and long-term. The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson outlines twelve key principles for fostering healthy brain development. This accessible guide helps parents through ever day struggles, offering realistic and age-appropriate strategies rooted in the science of brain development. For those of us that want a little extra assistance thinking through the principles, the authors created a Whole-brain Child workbook as well. 

9. No-Drama Discipline

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Discipline means to instruct, not to shout or reprimand. By focusing on the relationship between your child’s neurological development and how we, as parents, react to our child’s misbehavior, No-Drama Discipline gives us clear and compassionate instructions for how to deal with tantrums, tensions and tears in a way that teaches rather than perpetuating the cycle of negative behavior and punishment. No-Drama Discipline gives us the communication methods to reach our child, the tools to redirect behavior and a framework for turning tense moments into opportunities for growth. 

10. Raising Your Spirited Child

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Is your kid just a bit...EXTRA? A little more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent, or energetic than other kids? In a small child, these traits can be aggravating for everyone, but we often value them in adults. 

The child who gazes at dandelions when she's supposed to be covering second base may grow up to be very thorough with her work and detail-oriented. The boy who hugs too hard and can't stop chasing the cat because he loves it SO MUCH could become a tireless fighter for the helpless. So how do we live with these incredible little people long enough to get them to adulthood?

In Raising Your Spirited Child, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka helps us visualize these hopeful futures, while acknowledging that in the meanwhile, spirited kids can be a real handful. Her years of helping parents of spirited children will teach parents how to anticipate their children's needs and embrace what's great about them. There's so much more to say, but if this is one of your kids, you know it and you need to read this book!

Those are our ten favorite parenting books! Plus a few bonuses. You might not need or like all of them as much as we do, but these are the books we find ourselves recommending again and again to our friends when they as us what helped our families.

Hey!

You don't have to buy all these great books! We have the whole list in a handy pamphlet you can take to the library. Download it now!