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10 Books for New Military Spouses

2/11/2020

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by Brianna
10 Books for New Military Spouses
Did you just marry someone in the military? Congrats! Feeling a little culture shock? You're definitely not alone! There are loads of reading lists out there for military spouses, many of which rattle off the same books over and over. Those picks are ok, but we have a few problems with them.

First, they focus on the negative parts of military life, such as deployments and death. Second, they're getting old and outdated, which admittedly happens pretty fast. When I first got married in 2011, the books were about being a military spouse in the 90's, and that was a little helpful, but not a lot, because so much had changed and many acronyms had become meaningless. Likewise, now, there are a bunch of books about being married to a service member in the early years of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. The military does not work the same way now as it did 15 years ago. Third, some of these lists are all about understanding your service member spouse's world, but they don't help YOU! We're all for learning about each branch's heroes, histories, and challenges, but a list of books for military spouses should help the spouses. Some of the books on our list will be specific to the military, but several address key pain points about life in general that tend to be exacerbated by the military lifestyle.

One challenge we encountered when we went to make this list is that we would not recommend the same books to new spouses as we would seasoned spouses. This list is for the new (and probably quite young) military spouse. If you're new to the military community, you might be suffering a little culture shock, homesickness, or loneliness. Even if you're adapting well, you might be struggling to explain it to your family or friends. Read on for our list (in no particular order) of great books to help you embrace your new life.

​The links below are affiliate links, so we'll get a small bonus if you use them to order any of these books from Amazon, but we also have a free printable version of this list that you can take to the library!

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2020 CMC Reading List

22/10/2020

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by Brianna
Big changes to The Commandant’s Professional Reading List Program were recently announced. For anyone not in the know, the United States Marine Corps has a professional reading list, packed full of titles that are meant to educate Marines and inculcate them with the Corps’ values. We explained how it typically works in a previous article, but a good deal of that has now shifted, mostly for the better.

We here at Busy Nest News love a reading list, especially a list meant to develop leadership, creativity, and resilience. We believe any org can benefit from developing a reading list for its members. The Commandant’s Reading List has been updated regularly since it was established in 1989, so it’s always been one of our first stops when we’re looking for the next book in our respective self-development journeys. So what are these changes, and why are they a big deal? Doesn’t the list get updated frequently anyway? Read on for my initial analysis of the changes.
CMC Reading List 2020

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Developing Leaders: A Little-Known Tool the Military Uses (and you can, too!)

21/7/2020

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By Brianna
​Updated 10/22/2020
Train leaders like the military
When people think about military training, they usually picture some version of basic training. And why wouldn’t they? The vast majority of military movies spend a large amount of time on the protagonist getting through boot camp. Basic training is a big deal, but the truth is that it’s just the beginning (hence the word "basic"). After boot camp, the training continues in the form of schools, field ops, distance learning classes, and ongoing mentoring. But there’s one type of training that is key for developing leaders that's often overlooked by the casual observer of military life. The great news, though, is that you can use this technique to develop yourself as a leader, as well as other aspiring leaders in your team.

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September is National Preparedness Month

12/9/2018

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by Brianna

Get Ready!

Here at Busy Nest News, we try to be ready for anything. We're always thinking about contingencies and emergencies. Not in a stressed out, paranoid way (most of the time), but in a "challenge accepted!" kind of way. When disaster strikes, we want to win. That sounds a little nuts, but we've seen too many disasters (small and large) to let ourselves off the hook. This month, we're going to share some of our favorite ways to always be prepared. 

In Case of Emergency (ICE)

Great graphic for an ICE card on BusyNestNews.com

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Book Review: Raising Men, part II

22/6/2018

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by Brianna

Recently, Brianna and Ariel reviewed Raising Men by Eric Davis and Dina Santorelli. Being women and mothers of daughters, not sons, they wanted a little backup for this apparently testosterone-fueled book. Read on to find out what their Marine husbands made of a parenting book written by a former SEAL.
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Here at Busy Nest News, we try to evaluate a variety of parenting books for our readers. Ariel and I take turns selecting the book that we’ll both read, and then we discuss it as our own, little, two-person book club. Our latest book, Raising Men by Eric Davis, points out that there can be no growth without getting outside of the comfort zone at least a little bit. Reading this book, that’s exactly where we initially found ourselves- about a yard outside of our comfort zone.

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The Runaway Bunny: Review & Craft

20/4/2018

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By Ariel

In which Ariel discusses the classic The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown - a sweeping epic tale of the creatives ways our children will test our resolve and the lengths we will go to to love them.  Pair this with a military-themed craft and you have an activity that opens up discussions around what being a military family means. This post contains affiliate links. By using them you help keep Busy Nest News up and running. Thank you for your continued support!

The Runaway Bunny
By Margaret Wise Brown

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Since the military community comprises such a small percentage of our population, we can’t always easily find books that reflect the challenges our families face. We are forced to either create our own which is becoming a more realistic option as time goes by. Just take a look at My Daddy Sleeps Everywhere! Or we can make classic stories that address timeless dilemmas, like The Kissing Hand our own by adding our own twist. The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown and illustrated by Clement Hurd is one such classic that lends itself well to retellings.  

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My Daddy Sleeps Everywhere

16/4/2018

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by Brianna

Wherein Brianna introduces a book that helps military kids understand where their parent is when they aren't at home. This article contains affiliate links. Using them helps keep Busy Nest News going. Thanks for your support!

My Daddy Sleeps Everywhere, by Jesse Franklin and Tahna Desmond Fox

​My Daddy Sleeps Everywhere, written by Jesse Franklin and illustrated by Tahna Desmond Fox is a picture book for military kids. On each page, Daddy is shown sleeping in a new position and in totally different terrains and climates. In concise, rhyming prose, Franklin explains that Daddy sleeps in forests, deserts, snow, and rain. Daddy sleeps on boats, prairies, airplanes, and in broken houses far away. But Daddy’s favorite place to sleep is home. The story is accompanied by Fox’s detailed watercolors depicting each location, with the sleeping Daddy (and his coworkers and gear) contrasting as a simple black and white line drawing.
My Daddy Sleeps Everywhere, a book for military kids on BusyNestNews.com
​At only 1% of the U.S. population, military families are a minority. As such, there aren’t a lot of great books for helping our kids with the various challenges involved in our families’ service. With the rise of independent publishers, vanity presses, and viable online self-publishing options, more service members and spouses are opting to fill this gap with some much-needed literature. However, that doesn’t mean they’re all the same caliber we would expect of more mainstream children’s books. In fact, some are quite bad. So where does My Daddy Sleeps Everywhere fit?

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Planning to Parent: Thriving During A Deployment

13/4/2018

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In which Ariel shares what areas she focuses on when planning for a deployment - how to nurture your child's relationship with their deployed parent, how to nurture your own relationship with your deployed partner, how to keep the routine going when you are solo parenting and how to make sure you still have energy left to take care of yourself.
Planning to Parent: Thriving During a Deployment on BusyNestNews.com

Why Do You Need to Plan for a Deployment?

Living through a deployment is the most challenging part of being a military spouse. It is also – ironically –  the most romanticized part. Though my husband is no longer active duty, his job keeps him away from home for months on end, several times a year. How do we make it through relatively unscathed? We have a plan in place and do not deviate from it (often).

So while your civilian friends are picturing perfumed letters and wistfully staring at the sky, pre-deployment for us looks like A Beautiful Mind with more laundry and lists - to-do lists, checklists, lists of lists, lists scrawled on post-it notes, lists scrawled on the whiteboard, half-washed off lists on hands and the list goes on. I have heard from multiple sources, including Brianna, that this listomania is not uncommon.

Having a well-thought-out plan in place during a deployment takes the guesswork out of stressful situations. And when you are solo parenting, everything can become stressful at the drop of a hat - even Skyping with your spouse. How horrible is that? When you want to see them, but the kids are dirty, the dishes are overflowing and the plumber is about the come over to fix the dishwasher that broke the second your spouse deployed. So you Skype - and you are genuinely excited to see them because you miss them - but you find yourself snapping at the kids and being short with your spouse, because this needs to get done and that deadline is coming up. The point is, if you aren’t intentional about the deployment, life will get in the way.

This is not going to be a how-to on planning for deployment. There is no magic bullet. No one approach to deployment will work for everyone, because every family and every deployment is different. Each of our families has unique strengths and a diverse array of needs that should be taken into account. What this is, is a reminder of the - often overlooked - areas we should be intentionally planning for. It's important to plan ahead for when things go right or wrong. So accept that things will go wrong and be as ready as you can anyway.

Throughout this article I often use “you” to refer to you AND your spouse. While you, the at-home partner, may shoulder much of the responsibility for making sure the plan unfurls with minimal hiccups, you cannot plan without input from your spouse. You both need to be on board or someone will end up dissapointed.


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Reading to Stay Connected

10/4/2018

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by Brianna

In which Brianna presents a couple of options for military families to stay connected by reading to their littles, even when they're away.

A great deployment strategy for a resilient family

Here at Busy Nest News, we love reading. It entertains us, challenges us, broadens our horizons, deepens our empathy for others, and it makes us smarter. So when we heard that other military families use reading to stay connected to each other during deployments, it seemed a natural and wonderful solution.
How reading can keep you connected and build resilience during a deployment at BusyNestNews.com
​Some fortunate families can video chat daily during deployments. Since every day isn’t necessarily remarkable, frequent chats like that are a great opportunity to read books to littles or discuss books with the spouse or older kids back home. However, most of us aren’t in that position. If Monkey’s daddy was deployed right now, the very best he could manage would be an almost daily email, maybe. Worst communication situation would be a phone call once or twice a month. As a couple, we’ve experienced both scenarios. Monkey will not hang out on the phone long enough for her daddy to read her a story. But she would still miss having him read to her, as reading is already an integral part of our family’s routines. Fortunately, I know of some resources to bridge the gap between technologically deprived service members and the littles who love them.

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    Ariel and Brianna are friends who met while working in a library.  Now they collaborate to develop life-enhancing book club experiences.  


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